Parenting books are a bit of a touchy subject. You don’t want to be the parent who obsessively read every parenting book. You also don’t want to be the unprepared parent who has read none.
Here are the three parenting books I read that made me feel confident as a new mom and also made me want to move my new family to Europe STAT.
“Bringing Up Bebe” by Pamela Druckerman
This is not some hidden gem or best kept secret. This book is wildly popular and for good reason. Druckerman wrote an ethnographical take on her own experience raising her children in Paris as a foreigner. This book is expertly researched, it is charming, and it is insightful. I have heard critique of this book, and I would like to critique the critique: this is not a “How To” guide book. Druckerman speaks from her own observations and her own research.
This parenting book is a chance to reflect on cultural norms, to consider your own values, and to question how you want these elements to shape you as a parent.
Why did I love this parenting book?
I feel like I am part of a culture that glamorizes hardship in a way that I don’t subscribe to. We bury authenticity under “the struggle is real” humour and love to turn mothers into martyrs. I don’t have any interest in losing myself to wine mom culture and burn out. This book gives me reasons to believe I don’t have to. I found this book to be incredibly encouraging and inspiring. Reading “Bringing Up Bebe” was a great opportunity to assess my own values and feel more confident in my decisions.
“There’s No Such Thing As Bad Weather” by Linda Akeson McGurk
McGurk is a Swedish born mother who takes a hiatus from raising her daughters in rural Indiana to move home for several months. McGurk speaks from her experience as a child growing up in Sweden and as a woman parenting in two very different cultures. Her writing is heartfelt and personal yet thoroughly researched. The theme of the book is outdoor culture in relation to childhood and let me tell you: it is fascinating. I would 100% recommend this book to anyone, parent or not. Talking about this book makes me want to close my laptop and go play in the mud.
Why did I love this parenting book?
This book is such a great resource and I learned a lot. You will find so many things in this book that you know to be true on some level. Hearing the “why” is so, so interesting. And this book is an excellent reminder that being outside needs to be a priority!
I talk about being outside more, balancing work and play with my son in my article The Unexpected Results of a Time Log.
“The Danish Way of Parenting” by Jessica Joelle Alexander and Ibing Dissing Sandahl
A Danish psychotherapist teams up with an American woman raising children with her Danish husband to bring us a guide to how the happiest people in the world are raising more happy people. The book revolves lessons around the acronym PARENT: play, authenticity, reframing, empathy, no ultimatums, togetherness. The advice is sensible and simple; indicative of Danish culture.
What is truly interesting is the Danish approach to education which oftentimes reflects themes in “Bringing Up Bebe” and “There’s No Such Thing as Bad Weather”. For example, the emphasis on unstructured play and letting children discover themselves (to “Awaken” as Druckerman would say).
Why did I love this parenting book?
Again, hearing the “why” is always interesting. Often I find in these books you will be able to draw on your own childhood experiences. It is fascinating to look back on them with a different lens. This book equipped me to challenge my own habits in favor of better ones (ex. using process related praise or not shying away from difficult subjects). After reading this book I was fully ready to relocate and continue learning on my own!
The Takeaway
There is no perfect parenting utopia, but it is a ridiculous amount of fun to read about how other people around the world do things. It can be easy to dismiss some of these ideas (“well of course it’s easy in France, they spend half their year on vacation”, “Scandinavia has so many social programs”). To this, I say, fair enough. But while we can understand there are many reasons for our differences, it’s also worthwhile to reflect on what we can change.
I took away something from each of these three parenting books. I highly recommend any parent hit their library/bookstore/Audible ASAP and do the same.
Have you read them? Let me know your thoughts in the comments!
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